The Teacher That Almost Made Me Quit Photography

I want to begin by telling you a little bit about Chester College.

In the late 2010’s, I was a student at a now-defunct art college in Chester, New Hampshire, enrolled in the Photography & Media Art program. It was a small institution, maybe 200 students. It was unique in that way - everyone knew each other, class sizes were small, and the location had it feel like it was almost like a yurt community full of artists, each with their own unique visions - to say that I felt at home quickly would be an understatement. Friendships were established straight away, and many of them still hold strong today.

It was my first choice of schools to attend, and you’d better believe that when my acceptance letter came in my confidence was at an all time high. I was very much looking forward to elevating my craft, learning from my peers and teachers, and eventually graduating with a degree in my chosen field. At that time, I felt that the sky was the limit - this is what I loved to do, and I was finally getting that college experience that I’ve been wanting at that time. I was a commuter, but I did spend some time in the dorms for a little bit.

Unfortunately, despite all its strengths and positive impacts on the community and art scene, Chester College was not immune to the thing that makes the world go ‘round - money and proper fundraising. Right before the summer of 2012 - my third year, information was leaked that the school was set to close due to a lack of funds, and would not be open in the next academic year. Despite a monumental fundraising effort by the student body, most of the faculty and staff, media coverage and support from surrounding communities, and $92,000 raised within the first 11 days after learning that the college was closing - Chester could not be saved. It was unfortunate because for many, Chester was more than just a school - it was home. It was a place where some truly felt a sense of belonging and being their authentic selves.

Anyway - perhaps it’s time to write about why you’re here in the first place. In my third year, I had a teacher that I am convinced did not think well of me or my work - he will be known as “Joe Cool 😎” for the duration of the blog. He was the type of person that everyone loved, and was seen as the “cool” teacher - he had a personality that was very deadpan, he was a skateboarder, and he produced great photography. He taught a few different courses, but he was mainly known as the Large Format film instructor. A week before I was to start his large format course, I happened to catch him in the hallway, and totally fanboyed:

Me: Hey Mr. Joe Cool 😎, I can’t want to take your Large Format class! 🤩🤩🤩

Him, in his typical deadpan tone: “Gonna be a party.” - walks away -

Most people would see this as standoffish - however, I was stoked to even be acknowledged by him. His BAMF reputation around campus was so potent that I would’ve considered it an honor if he sneezed in my direction. I couldn’t wait to learn from him, and to show him what I could do. Back in these days, I was a bit overconfident in my abilities - I was certain that he would be amazed at my work, and that I would not only pass his class but become one his favorites.

Needless to say, he humbled me. Not only that, I came to realize very quickly that there was nothing that I could shoot that would have impressed this man. There’s a fine line between constructive criticism, and just being a dick - he chose the latter. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but I would always feel no bigger than an ant during critiques and during final grading on assignments. He would very seldom give me a genuine compliment, and I earned very mediocre grades from him - I guess one way to look at this is that it DID make me a better photographer over time - mainly because I decided that I wouldn’t give anyone a reason to drag me again. I don’t claim to be the world’s best photographer (I’m the world’s okayest) but I think I’ve come a long way since then.

Chester College had this thing called matriculation - I know now that this is common among colleges and universities, but at the time I had not heard of it. Basically, You had to bring what you considered your best work - 15 to 20 pieces to present for the process. Your fate was decided here - if you passed, you would stay at the college. Fail? You’re done bud. This was odd to me, because I was in my third year and figured that I was an established student, but whatever. For my matriculation, I was faced with a triumvirate - my academic advisor, a color concept teacher that I had in the prior semester, and Joe Cool 😎. I put up my work, sat down, and listened as my academic advisor and former teacher critiqued me, and asked me questions related to the matriculation. All the while, Joe Cool 😎 sat there stewing, not really saying anything at all - after what seemed like an eternity of him just sitting there, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, he finally spoke up and let me have it. He went on to say that I’m not serious about photography, how he wondered where my head was at, I have no clue what I’m doing, and I found out that he had a YUUUGE problem with a watermark that I used to apply to all my photos. “WhAtS wItH tHe UpC CoDe wAtErMaRk?? iT’s StUpId!!”

The image below was one of the ones I used in my matriculation, and the one he criticized the most.👇👇👇

Hayley, 2011.

Brief history of this image - I did a shoot with my friend Hayley back in 2011, on film. This was shot completely by happenstance - I wasn’t looking through my viewfinder, and fired off a frame by mistake. Yes, I used to call myself Darth Nepharan. 😅

Joe Cool 😎 went on to aggressively ask me why I use a watermark in my photos, and I gave the answer that anyone that used a watermark would give - to protect my images. “wHo CaReS??” was his response. After my matriculation was over, I left upset - mainly due to him coming after me, and not knowing if I was going to pass and be eligible to stay at the school. I clearly didn’t hide my frustration well, because not long after Joe Cool 😎 gave some awkward apology of sorts - this was definitely something he didn’t want to do, but nonetheless I saw it as an onwards and upwards kind of thing. He still hated my work though, and I seriously considered quitting photography as my confidence was heavily depleted after his vitriol.

As Chester was closing, I decided that I wanted to keep in touch with as many students and faculty as I could, including Joe Cool 😎 for some reason. I added him on Facebook, but noticed that he did not accept my request - he did however accept some requests from my peers. He sent a goodbye email to the students, and toward the end of it I remember him writing this through his own volition - no prompting.

“Yeah, I don’t accept every friend request…I’m a jerk like that.”

This is when I knew that not only did he not like me as a student, but as a person too. Not really sure what I was expecting from such an elitist prick.

Anyway, I guess what I want to make clear here is that I did not give up - I think this is something that every photographer goes through from time to time, and it’s normal. It can stem from social media, comparing yourself to others, seeing people that you shoot with not upload the edits you send them, editing the work you send them and THEN posting it, people flaking on plans made to shoot…oh wow, I’m trailing off on a few tangents here! 😅

The point is that I did not give up. Photography is the one thing in the world that I love, and I’ll be damned if I stop because of some irrelevant people hating what I produce. If Joe Cool 😎 could see me today, I’m sure he’d still find negative things to say about my work, and that’s fine - I’m not alcohol, so I can’t please everyone.

¯_㋡_/¯

Chester College is still near and dear to me, all this time later. To see the incredible story of the “Save Chester” movement, click here and prepare to be amazed at the tenacity of the student body, faculty and staff.